Meeting

Nivedan Mother, receive my pranam today. The worldly eye does not search the sky, for you are woven into my heart. Yet fear clings and holds the heart, and so I cannot find your feet. I am grateful, birth after birth. Receive a hundred crore pranams, Mother mine. Pranam — Meenananda Tirthanath, Minakshi Devyomba.

A note on the author might have been wanted here. I hold back for two reasons. Second, the point is not that readers should trail the writer, but that they should walk with the people of the story.

Proof-checking — Umashankar, Swagata.

Preface

The wise and the unwise alike lean on that power and plan the future without fear.

I know I shall end, and leave everything. Still, let what is mine remain mine. O God, open this mood of mine.

I pray that the auspicious Mother give everyone right understanding. May all be well.

This poison

Bound in that māyā you too call, empty. Forgive a child’s unknowing. You are this world’s great Māyā, Dasamahindī. The walking of the path begins.

In the train’s rocking the eyes close. In dream the source of Mother Ganga opens. In the ear her walking-song: kal… kal… kal… kal. What does she wish to say? So much still unsaid. Noise on every side, needless shoving.

So many sit, boats filled. Someone seems to call with a wave.

The train moves again; the bell sounds. Baba Vishwanath’s dwelling slides from the eyes. Passengers change; something new is seen. A new voice in the ear. Sadhu Baba has made himself a little room among them all. The train gathers speed.

One passenger had been watching the sādhu’s performance. Looking at his face he suddenly asked—

Passenger: Where are you going, Baba?

Sadhu Baba (softly): Haridwar.

Passenger: Are you a Vaishnava?

Sadhu Baba: Yes.

Passenger: Then why Haridwar? Not Mathura or Vrindavan?

Sadhu Baba: In love the love-play is found; Hari and Hara are all play.

Passenger: Then why so much road? Are you Vaishnava, or Shaiva?

Beautiful! Beautiful! A traveller spellbound by mantra. Sādhu! Sādhu! — that cry only. As if Mother Ganga herself were pouring the abhisheka. The holy clay-scent of the tilak drifts in.

The train’s wheels, that had kept time, stop. The passengers’ noise thickens again in the ear. Haridwar has come.

Outside the station a line of small and large cars. Quite a gathering of people. On the roads, hotels and dharmshalas in plenty, and large. This Haridwar has been touched by modernity. A meeting-place of all jatis, and many sights. Ordinary people crowd there too. On Mother Ganga’s breast one may leave the sin one has earned.

that the heart’s wish attains fullness.

On the bank some young men stand, lifting great lamps, praising Mother Ganga, with modern Hindi bhajan. Light on every side. The cool wind off Mother Ganga gives ease. Saints are busy in their own places with their own inner work.

When the evening rite ends, each leaves Mother Ganga’s ghat toward his own aim. On the brow a long black tilak. The sight itself is frightening. Some eyes are drawn, yet not everyone dares come near. Among them one, hoping a mahāpurusha has appeared, touches his feet.

Sadhu Baba: (saying Byom Shankar, lifting him) What is your trouble, child?

He gives a rather fat dakshina. And Baba, pleased, touches the trident and says.

Sadhu Baba: All your work will be accomplished. Go, son, all your work will be accomplished. There is no more fear.

Another self-forgetful young man had been watching Baba’s doings. From the wish to know the Guru he sat and asked—

Young man: Baba, are you a smashan-dwelling Aghori?

Only by much punya does one get his darshan.

This time Baba, saying “Byomshankar,” gives no answer and leaves the place. The thug-Baba goes on, wanting some other eye.

Look to Mother Ganga: in many colours, how many thugs. Why this play?

How many tantrics come, hoping for the fruit of their work. They wander and make their seats in hill, forest, jungle, and cave.

But the young man asks: where do I find such people? Have pity; tell me now where I may see them. Young man: What? You have not received mantra-diksha? Pandit: Not yet; even after much asking, permission has not come. Young man: Then he does not give diksha? Pandit: He does. Touching his feet a human being tastes godhood. He lets them know: the Guru, knowledge-form of the universe, removes blindness. When blindness goes, there is darshan of light. The young man: Then come, take me; I too want his darshan.

Young man: Why! Have you not received mantra-diksha? Pandit: No, not yet. Even after much asking, leave was not given. Young man: Then does he not give diksha at all?

Even a man without learning may drink the form of the brahmanda. Young man: Then come, take me; I too want his darshan.

Even so they are not easily caught. Talking, talking, the night grew late. For today I go. The young man’s eagerness rises still more. He would run that very instant for the gaining of that darshan.

Darkness has not yet broken. The sky is only just dressing for arrival — like a new bride behind her veil, reddened with shame. A sannyasi — tall, thin and spare, past fifty, a large salt-and-pepper beard.

has come down to the knees. The young man, hoping for sadhu-sanga, goes near, pranams, sits beside him. The sannyasi’s look falls on the youth. Young man: Nothing — only a little blessing. Sannyasi (laughing aloud): That is the priceless wealth of life. What greater thing can be asked? Without your blessing how shall I reach my aim? Sannyasi: What is your aim, child? Young man: I want to know God. Sannyasi (smiling softly): Alms yield food; blessing is found when work is done. So this path wants that work.

Young man: Nothing — only a little blessing. What greater thing can be asked? Sannyasi: What is your aim, child? Young man: I want to know God.

Sannyasi (smiling a little): Begging brings grain; blessing comes when work is done. So this path wants that work.

Sannyasi: Bah, bah — very good. But child, if you sit outside the house of work and work, does wages come home? First you must enter the house of work; then you must do the work the master has set; only then may you hope for wages. Young man: Babaji, do you stay here? Sannyasi: No. We wander and make a camp — today here, tomorrow somewhere else. Young man: Babaji, in which mata have you taken sannyasa? Sannyasi: Mata! All matas are one, child; the roads are many, and every road, wandering, means that same mata. “The trail of the path is many; every mata means Brahman. God calls everyone; only a little stillness, and His call is heard. Young man: Babaji, we shall surely meet.

Now search for him who will open this path’s door for you. Young man: Babaji, do you stay here? Sannyasi: No. Wandering, we make a seat — today here, tomorrow somewhere else. Young man: Babaji, in which mata have you taken sannyasa? Sannyasi: Mata! Child, all matas are one at last. Paths are many, and every path, turning and turning, comes to that same one.

“Signs of the road are many; all matas own the Brahman. From form the formless comes; bheda-thought chooses its path.” (Reassuring the young man) You will surely find a Guru. God calls everyone; only become a little still, and his call is heard. I go now, child. Young man: Babaji, we shall surely meet.

Give me then the jhola of begging. Guru is a much greater word. The sannyasi goes on; much work remains for him. What happened in that while? Bhava still holds him. The body is eased by the cold touch, yet the mind stays heavy. He asks the gentleman there for a cup. Two more come and stand. Suddenly he remembers his friend. Where is he? The young man looks this way and that; perhaps he has not yet come. Black trousers, a sky-blue short-sleeved

The young man looks this way and that; perhaps he has not yet come. He wears black trousers and a sky-blue full-sleeved shirt.

shirt, glasses, fifty-five to sixty years. The young man goes quickly on long steps. Young man: Friend, how long have you been standing? Pandit: This moment, only just down. Young man: So late? I have been waiting long. The stand is beside them. They board quickly, take two good seats side by side. A few people sit scattered. Not much crowd. Pandit: Almost two hours of road. In this gap we can talk and make the friendship firm. Young man: Who is in your house, friend? My ginni has been very ill for some time; her hands and feet have no proper strength. A little work and she pants. How many doctors, how many vaidyas. Who knows what disease has seized her. No medicine works any more. My ginni is very good; she tries much; the body does not give. Young man: Whose work? What woman? Reba is Anurag’s—

They choose two good seats side by side. A few people sit scattered; the bus is not crowded. Pandit: Nearly two hours of road. In this gap, talking, our friendship can be made firm. Young man: Friend, who is in your house? For some time my ginni has been very ill.

Pandit: How many doctors, how many vaidyas, we showed her. Who knows what illness has taken hold; no medicine works any more. My ginni is very good, and she tries much, but the body will not give. Young man: Whose work? What woman?

Two years ago we all went to trek Rupkund. My wife and son went too. That time too it was a seven-day trek. With wife and son I spent ten days with the others. Anurag mixed with us. After the trek Reba promised one day to make the meeting. A day was fixed. The boy was then nineteen, had passed the school-fence in the first rank; the ginni was very glad. A busy man, many people; with Anurag and Reba we entered. Reba told our identity. A costly, well-set room; furniture well arranged; one could see the business had caught well.

Anurag mixed very well with us. His name and fame were as large as his money.

Perhaps a high life was already beckoning the boy. A busy man, and many people about him. With Anurag and Reba we went in.

A costly, well-set room, furniture well arranged; one could see the business had caught well.

We pranamed with joined hands; the boy rose and touched his feet. He asked the boy to sit before him. Tantric: Your name? Boy: Animesh Banerjee. Tantric: Let me see, Animesh, the lines of your hand. Ginni (smiling): Is that so? And marriage? It will be well? He will not make it himself? Yet one problem — (looking at the hand more carefully, and at the brow). All right; I shall say later. Ginni (quite eager): Why, did you see some trouble? Tantric (face heavy): Yes. Pandit and ginni (afraid, together): What danger?

Tantric: Let me see, Animesh, the lines of your hand. Ginni (smiling): Is that so? And marriage? He will not make it himself? Tantric: No, no. Your boy is not like the boys and girls of this age.

Tantric: But there is one trouble. Ginni (quite eager): Why — did you see some trouble? Tantric (making his face heavy): Yes. Pandit and Ginni (afraid, together): What danger?

Ginni (afraid): What are you saying? My only son! There is a remedy for everything. Pandit: How much might it cost? A hundred will do. But the puja’s cost alone you must give — ghi, wood, honey, and the kavacha — some forty thousand. For less than that this noose cannot be cut. “I shall give it; please begin the work.”

But the cost of the puja you must give. Ghee, wood, honey and the kavach — some forty thousand will go. For less than that this noose cannot be cut.

He left his studies and sat wholly in the house. When all was told, Reba spoke with her brother. Hearing everything he said another maduli was needed to free him from this kriya, and sent asking for ten thousand more.

They called the ginni a liar; her siddha-purusha brother — none of his work, they said, goes vain. A few days later my ginni truly fell ill. After that, doctors, tantrics — we did many; no gain. Young man: But why? You had gone precisely to tell him. Pandit: I do not know. But hearing his talk one seems to receive much peace.

Young man: But why? You had gone only to tell him. Pandit: I do not know.

“The farmer scatters seed only after knowing the soil. “Leave all that; we must get down soon. Come, we rise.” From the bus they get down, brush the shop, take a narrow earth road toward the jungle. Made of earth, bamboo, hogla leaf and thick tree-trunks. The door of hogla and bamboo slivers. The roof of tin. Seeing the kutir both minds rise; they enter on quick feet. In the open before the kutir they stand and pranam toward it. It would be about eleven. Gentleman (seeing us): Who are you?

After nearly fifteen minutes of walking the kutir comes into sight. Made of earth, bamboo, hogla leaf and the thick trunks of trees.

Standing in the open before the kutir they pranam toward it.

Is he here now? You have come from far, I think? Young man: Do you stay here? Young man: Pagla Baba? Gentleman: Actually we all call him Pagla Baba. Young man: When will he return tomorrow? Young man: Boudi, are you also his disciples? Are you initiated, in the tantra mata? Young man: No, will you take trouble? We shall eat something outside.

Young man: Pagla Baba? Gentleman: In truth we all call him Pagla Baba. Young man: When will he return tomorrow? Gentleman: That is very hard to say. Young man: Tell me, Boudi, are you also his disciples? Have you too taken diksha?

Young man: In the Tantra-mata? Lady: Yes. You talk; I shall set the rice. At noon something must be eaten. Young man: No, will you take trouble again? We shall eat something outside.

Fear does not take us much now. This small gate and these great trees stand as watchmen in the night. Yet our Pagla Baba says, “Than the beast in human form these unknowing beasts are far better. So the sadhaka should not fear them; set them to their work.”

The floor too is of earth. On one side his place of puja. Beside it a trident painted red. And some puthis, an asana, and red cloth. Both fear and devotion work. Young man (quickly outside): What is it? That is their custom. Young man: Then there is a smashan here too? Come, now wash hands and face and take two handfuls of rice.

Boudi: Nothing. Young man: Then there is a smashan here too? Boudi: Yes. But at night no one comes this way for burning; they wait for morning. Come now, wash hands and face and take two handfuls of rice.

jhol has been set. Boudi: Sit, we shall sit together! Our Gurudev does not order women to take first — take, begin. Having received permission the young man does not delay and begins the work of chewing. After eating, in the fullness of belly and mind the eyes almost close. Boudi (all work done): Was the cooking all right? No great trouble? Boudi (smiling): Baba, are you a literary man? We have not even learned your identity. Pandit: I am Prashanta Banerjee. Young man: And I am Shashwata Ghosh. Boudi: Prashanta-babu, you seem very familiar — tell me where I have seen you? Saurabh means my friend, and your guru-brother. You were there that day too. And from you I had taken permission wishing to enter the puja-room. On this path there are many secret pujas. You rather wait a little.

Boudi (smiling): Baba, are you a man of letters? Your names we have not even asked. Pandit: I am Prashanta Banerjee. Young man: And I am Shashwata Ghosh. Boudi: Tell me, Prashanta-babu, you seem very known. Where have I seen you?

Prashanta: Yes — now I have known you too. Saurabh is my friend and your guru-bhai. You too were there that day. I had asked your leave, wishing to enter the puja-room.

On this path there are many secret pujas. You rather wait a little.

Then, shutting the door, several of you went inside. Saurabh had the puja done with much show. There were invited people too, so I could not notice. So you are here? The sentence is not finished when Boudi speaks. Prashanta: Yes, I understand; age has increased, yet the age of bhava has not increased that way. Shashwata: Then shall I come alone tomorrow? I have a terrible need. Boudi: Then you, brother, spend the night here.

Prashanta: Yes, I understand. Age has grown, yet the age of bhava has not grown in that measure. Now I must go. Shashwata: Then shall I come alone tomorrow? I have a great need. Boudi: Then you, brother, spend the night here.

Dada: Then you stay here today, and increase the experience of kutir-life. Prashanta: Then, brother, I rise; many thanks to you. I leave this friend of yours with you. We shall meet again. Stay well. Dada-Boudi, I come at once. Now you go back; they are waiting. Dada-Boudi are sitting in the verandah. Dada: Come, brother, come here, let us talk a little. So, from where had you come? Where is your home? Shashwata: I am coming from Kolkata. Dada: From Kolkata? So you had come this way to wander? Who is in the Kolkata house?

Prashanta: You stay well. Dada-Boudi, I come at once. (Saying this the two leave the kutir.) Shashwata: Friend, in what words shall I thank you?

Prashanta: No, brother — spending time with you I too felt very well. Saying many stored words of the mind, I too feel much lightened. Now you go back; they are waiting. Shashwata: Friend, go carefully. We shall meet again. Saying this he turns and comes back to the kutir. Dada and Boudi are sitting in the verandah. Dada: Come, brother, come here. Let us talk a little. So — from where had you come? Where is your house? Shashwata: I have come from Kolkata.

Dada: From Kolkata? So you had come this way to wander? Who is in the Kolkata house? Shashwata: Not exactly to wander.

In Kolkata I stay together with father, mother, dada-boudi. We have a three-storey pucca house. Boudi: What is this? Why did you leave everything? Tuhin’s people had much property. He was his parents’ only child. So Tuhin too was my only brother. Tuhin’s father was an established businessman; Tuhin looked after that business. Days passed in much joy. Seeing the girl’s form, her aristocratic manners, Tuhin too was quite drawn. As said, the day of the wedding was fixed for November.

Tuhin’s people had much wealth. He was his father and mother’s only child. Tuhin’s father was an established businessman, and Tuhin looked after that very business. When leave came I too would wander with him.

In this way our days were passing in much joy. Tuhin asked me to come and see the girl.

I too remained in their group. The relation was quite amusing. On Kali Puja they stayed awake all night; puja, bali, homa with much show. That year Diwali was in October. All day, all night we spent together in much fun. After seeing the puja, taking bhog the next day, it was a little late returning home. Hearing Tuhin’s laugh, Rupa’s immediate fear broke. I too

Going by car on the road, from some high place their car fell into water, and Rupa drowned and died. We shall not let you die by drowning. Do not trouble your head with these things.” But Rupa’s doubt still did not break.

Hearing Tuhin’s laugh, Rupa’s immediate fear broke. Meanwhile the wedding day came on. I too therefore gave myself to that work.

Watching, watching, Tuhin and Rupa’s wedding happened with much show. After the wedding Tuhin and Rupa passed the first month in much joy. Now Tuhin had to go out again some days for business. Rupa insisted she would go with him. Accepting his reasoning I too went with them. As said, Rupa too was glad. Winter, evening only just down. Our car was crossing the river at speed. On the very last stretch a lorry lost control, struck our car, and our car fell from above into the river. The bank was not very far. I too swam ashore. But Rupa’s body by then had become still. We took her quickly to hospital. The doctor examined and said Rupa had had heart failure. Hearing the news Tuhin lost consciousness. I too, seeing and hearing all, fell silent, and felt quite ill. We two

Then, after wandering Odisha, on the return toward Kolkata, while we were coming over the Mahanadi, the trouble happened. In winter the evening had only just come down. Our car was crossing the river at speed. Near the last of the way a lorry lost control, struck our car, and from above our car fell into the river. The bank was not very far.

But by then Rupa’s body had gone still. We took her quickly to hospital. The doctor examined and said Rupa had had heart-failure. Hearing the news Tuhin lost consciousness.

were admitted to hospital; Tuhin kept losing consciousness again and again. Rupa’s dawn-dream came true exactly. By the doctor’s treatment Tuhin was healing fast. Conduct was becoming as before. Fakir Baba, they said, was a great tantric, who can bring any dead person before the eyes and make them speak, and can know and tell about them. That day, meeting Tuhin, he was busy with that glass bottle, paper, and other odds.

He could bring any dead person before the eyes, they said, make them speak, and tell and be told about them.

That day when I met Tuhin he was busy with that glass bottle, paper, and other odds.

I tried to make him understand that not going into such things was perhaps better. That Rupa could not be had again — that he would not accept. I only listened, silent. And I felt much pity for him. Ah, Vidhata — the dreams shut in their cage became birds and flew into the sky. Only the empty cage was left. Stroking Tuhin’s head I came home. Meanwhile Tuhin became busy with Rupa again. Yet Tuhin would become absent now and then. I did not understand that other language, that other voice, yet I could understand only one date. Then he would speak normally again. Conduct was normal.

Tuhin was very glad that day. I only listened, silent. And much pity rose for him. His words brought Rupa back to mind; my mind too grew heavy. Ah, Vidhata — the dreams shut in their cage became birds and flew into the sky. Only the empty cage was left. Stroking Tuhin’s head I came home. Meanwhile Tuhin sank into Rupa again.

Then he would speak normally again. Conduct was normal.

He became unconscious; consciousness never returned. Tuhin died of a brain haemorrhage. Even staying upright was hard. After three days his report came. I, Rupa, will stay with you again together. I shall take you. Shashwata too, the rest, quickly—” it was not well understood. Meanwhile these two strange events broke both families. Is this too possible? I want to know. So today I have left everything here. Till now, astonished, they had been hearing the story of Shashwata’s left-behind life.

Three days later his report came. I, Rupa, shall stay with you again, and take you. Shashwata and the rest — you too, quickly… The rest could not be clearly understood.

By these two strange happenings both families were broken. Is this too possible? I want to know. That is why today I have left everything and come here. Till now, astonished, they had been hearing the story of Shashwata’s left-behind life.

The two of them. Wiping water from the eyes with both hands: “Actually Tuhin was not only my friend. Do not take sorrow. Shashwata sits alone looking at the sky. Like a closing bell, chirp and chatter, they tell one another the stories of the whole day. Small head, two small wings; tomorrow they will go out again. In a new direction.

Their chirping was like a school’s leaving-bell. Small heads, two small wings — tomorrow they will go out again.

To walk this path alone was quite thrilling. Meanwhile it had almost grown dark. At the entering of the kutir Dada and Boudi were standing. Boudi: Ah, brother — where had you gone?

Shashwata asks why fear in the light. Boudi: you said you would walk this path with diksha. The path teaches one to see the dark as well. Shashwata: but what is seen, Boudi? Boudi: take this — a human formed of air standing before you, yet you cannot see him with these eyes. This kind of thing is found when one knows the dark. Shashwata: Then can they do harm? Or do they only frighten? Boudi: Mere fear happens in the dark of the mind. In the light people fear after judging. They harm only when there is no acquaintance; when two can see two, unknown fear settles with time.

Boudi: But seeing in the light, sometimes even the bones go cold. Shashwata: But what is seen?

Shashwata: Then — can they do harm? Or do they only frighten, for nothing? Boudi: Groundless fear happens in the dark of the mind.

Shashwata: True — but why should they harm? Do we harm them? Boudi: No. If the dark can be lifted, the two can see each other. Shashwata: Then pretas also are, and they can be seen as well? Boudi: Only because you have not seen them, it is not that they are not. Who knows — perhaps.

Boudi, smiling a little: What promise? Who will show you what — a ghost? That must be seen of itself. Dark has come well; she goes in to light the hurricane. Shashwata: I have shut every path but this. There, light, fan, house — all modern; fear did not take me so. Boudi, hurricane in hand: Then are you afraid here, brother?

Boudi: Walk a few days on this path. Boudi: Now it has grown quite dark. I shall light the hurricane and bring it. She goes inside the room. Shashwata: I have come shutting every other path but this. And I have spent nights in the jungle with friends.

There, light, fans, rooms and houses — all modern arrangement — so fear did not take much. (Boudi comes and stands in front, hurricane in hand.) Boudi: Then are you afraid here, brother? Seeing you, and staying with you, the fear is not so much now.

Dada, has your Gurudev ever shown you something unworldly? Mix a few days and you will understand — the man himself is the unworldly. Shashwata: Hearing of Guruji from you, the wish to see him has grown more. At night there is paratha and achar, nothing else cooked; will that trouble you? Shashwata: What are you saying? Paratha inside this jungle — that cannot even be thought. Boudi: There is nothing for you to feel bad. Come, all sit together.

Shashwata: Hearing of Guruji from you, and knowing about him, the wish to see him has grown still more. Boudi: Yes, he will come tomorrow. But come now, let us finish the meal quickly. If his story begins, the whole night will go.

Boudi: So let that be for now. Seeing him in front, think of him yourself. Shashwata: What are you saying? Paratha inside this jungle is itself beyond thought. Boudi: There is nothing for you to feel bad. Come, all sit together.

In this hurricane light, eating paratha and achar will feel quite good. Shashwata: Yes, come, I too am very eager. After eating: Dada, do you stay here, or elsewhere? Shashwata: Then you are householders; you took diksha while remaining in samsara? Dada: Yes. What of it? Shashwata: Then this ashram — who stays in this ashram? Dada: No one. Shashwata: Has Pagla Baba a household? Dada: Yes, a household in the proper sense — Guru, Guruma, Guru-putra, all are there. Pagla Baba sometimes comes here with the whole family.

Shashwata: Oh — then you are householders, and have taken diksha while staying in the household? Dada: Yes. What of that? Shashwata: Then this ashram — who stays in this ashram? Dada: No one. When Pagla Baba comes here, all who come to see him come again to this kutir. Otherwise we ourselves come now and then and look after it.

Dada: Yes, a household in the proper sense. Our Guru, Guruma, Guru-putra — all are there. Pagla Baba sometimes comes here with the whole family.

You lie down. Boudi: Then lie down; we have to rise early again. Shashwata (smiling): You are not frightening me, are you?

Shashwata lights the torch from under the pillow. The two dogs bark. Fear rises. Drowsiness has only come when he understands someone is pulling his sheet. He cries out. Dada and Boudi come out. Shashwata: someone was pulling my sheet. Boudi takes the torch.

Drowsiness has only come when he understands someone is pulling his sheet. Shashwata: What is this! Who — who? He cries out. Hearing the cry, Dada and Boudi come out of the room together. Dada: What has happened to you? It seemed I heard your cry.

Shashwata: Yes, you heard rightly. Boudi: What is this? Who needed a sheet again? Let me see. Saying this she takes the torch.

The dogs are lying; there is no one. Shashwata insists he was not asleep and felt the sheet pulled from his body. Dada: these things happen here. Boudi, smiling: I had said sleep with Dada; finding you alone, an unknown bhava struck. Shashwata asks Dada to stay. Dada lies beside him. With Dada there, without fear, the day’s weariness takes him.

Dada: Have no fear. Shashwata: You are saying — then you knew who was doing it? Boudi (smiling a little): I had said, sleep taking Dada with you. Had you heard that word, perhaps no one would have pulled. Now sleep taking Dada with you. Shashwata: Yes, yes. Dada: All right, I am here; you sleep now.

Dada: Sleep; nothing more. Shashwata: Then you knew from before that such things can be? Dada: Yes. Now sleep; the rest of the talk will be tomorrow. Saying this Dada lies down. Shashwata turns on his side.

Sleep takes. Dawn birds break it. Shashwata slept well; no more trouble in the night. At the bank no one. Dawn wind and the river’s going freshen the mind. He feels a strange pull.

Shashwata goes on; the light has broken well. Taking the jungle path he walks toward the river’s bank. There is only one narrow path. Walking, walking, he reaches the bank.

He returns. Entering the kutir he finds Dada-Boudi and two gentlemen. Boudi: Pagla Baba has come; I have told him of you. Suman has heard Shashwata stayed from yesterday. Boudi goes in. Pagla Baba calls Dada. Dada comes out: he for whom you were waiting — this is our Gurudev. Shashwata comes near and pranams.

Boudi: Here is Shashwata — come quickly. Where did you wander so long? Pagla Baba has come. Sit; first let me make a little acquaintance. The two offer namaskar to each other. Boudi: And this is Suman, our guru-bhai — a very good boy. I heard you have been here since yesterday. Shashwata, giving no answer: When did Guruji come?

Suman: Only a little while ago. Shashwata: Is Guruji doing puja inside? (She enters the room.) From inside Pagla Baba calls, “Amal, Amal — yes, say.” Dada, hearing his name, enters the room. After a little Dada and Boudi come out with Pagla Baba. Dada: Here, brother Shashwata, come this way. This is our Gurudev, for whom you were waiting. Shashwata: Yes — and coming near he pranams.

Pagla Baba lifts Shashwata: you are a doctor? Then on this path — will you open a chamber here? Shashwata has come only to see him. Everyone laughs. Shashwata: I came for my own treatment; how does one stay crazy like you? If not mad, how will you bring life into stone? As birds with wings want the sky, the atman with form clings to earth. You spent one night here? Did you like it?

Pagla Baba: People sit thinking sadhus kshyapa, pagla, and all that. Pagla Baba: See, another kshyapa has come. What kshyapa talk — without going kshyapa, how will you become pagla? And without becoming pagla, how will you bring life into stone?

Shashwata: My name is Shashwata, Baba. Pagla Baba: You have spent one night here, then? Did you like it?

Shashwata liked it very much. Pagla Baba: then stay some days. Shashwata looks as if enchanted. Dada asks how he liked him. Shashwata sits thinking he has seen this man before. Boudi teases whether the mind has gone a little mad.

Astonished, Shashwata keeps looking toward Pagla Baba, as if moored there. Dada: Brother, how did you find our Pagla Baba? Hearing the word, Shashwata’s awareness seems to return. Only the head bows. Suman: Bah, brother — very fine.

Shashwata gives no answer. He seems known, yet I cannot place him. Boudi (laughing a little): What are you thinking, brother Shashwata? Has the mind gone a little bad — from becoming pagla? Shashwata: No, no. Seeing how even well people like us rise drunk on such madness.

Boudi puts muri and batasa in his hand; he has eaten nothing since morning. Suman is sent for wood. Pagla Baba, Dada says, wanders the jungle as others wander a neighbourhood. He returns: Rama, take khichuri-bhog today; Satish has brought rice and dal. Seeing Suman: will you stay today? Suman will stay if ordered. Suman will stay some days and not blame him even if the job goes; he will take sannyasa and serve. Pagla Baba asks Rama whether from yesterday she has not given fish and rice.

Dada: He will perhaps come just now. The word is hardly finished when Pagla Baba enters. Pagla Baba: Rama, today make khichuri-bhoga. Satish has brought rice and dal with him. O Suman — will you stay today? Suman: If you order, I shall stay. Will you stay beside the Guru only if the Guru orders?

Otherwise if the service is lost, the Guru will take the blame. Suman: What you say! I shall take sannyasa and do your seva. Pagla Baba: You will get no wage. The word is hardly finished when Shashwata says: Give me the chance, Baba.

Pagla Baba, giving no answer, says to Rama, “From yesterday have you not given Shashwata fish and rice?”

Shashwata has eaten fish, rice, greens; Dada-Boudi fed him with care. He lies at the feet. Pagla Baba lifts him: you are the eternal; you will be able. I had called you before; you did not understand. Tuhin’s breaking had called you here. Pagla Baba: speak; you have only one ear.

Shashwata: Yes, I have understood, Baba. Accept me. Saying this Shashwata lies down at the Guru’s feet.

I had called you before also; you did not understand. And when the fruit is ready he himself calls him near. Tuhin’s breaking had called you here.

Just then a man enters the kutir, glad at heart. Seeing Baba he joins his hands and pranams, a smile filling the face. Pagla Baba: Speak, then. You have only one ear. You may speak.

The man: No, I did not mean that. I only came to tell. Leaving some money on the asana he pranams and goes out. Pagla Baba: Suman, see — how much of your wage did you get? Suman: Uff! Always I?

Boudi sends Suman for wood. Pagla Baba asks Rama for alu-chokha, dal, rice. Boudi: a little ago you said khichuri-bhog — from where now rice and dal? Pagla Baba: khichuri and beguni? Then there is no word left. Shashwata, you like khichuri very much. Shashwata: yes, khichuri and beguni are my dear foods. Will people say you eat? Not entirely niramis.

Boudi: Suman, first bring wood, or the cooking will be late. Pagla Baba: Rama, today alu-chokha, dal and rice? And a little with it. Boudi: What? A little while ago you said khichuri-bhoga; now from where have rice and dal come? Pagla Baba: Khichuri and beguni will be? What do you say, Shashwata? You like khichuri very much.

Shashwata: Yes — khichuri and beguni are my very dear food. Pagla Baba: Is that so? Then Amal, do not delay — go out now. Bring a few more hen’s eggs. Amal: Yes, yes, Baba — you will eat eggs? Pagla Baba: Why now? And will you decide what people will eat? Am I wholly niramis?

Pagla Baba: Rama, you go now to the cooking-room. Satish, you do this — make the arranging of our puja, and take Shashwata with you. Satish: All right, Baba. Come, brother Shashwata, let us pick flowers and bring them.

Go, see everything. Shashwata will bathe first. Pagla Baba: you have not even bathed. Never mind, bring flowers; I shall bathe the flowers instead. Will people laugh if a sadhu eats niramis? Satish: come, do not catch his words; you will not understand yet. Hearing he was coming, Boudi invited many relatives. Shashwata: how old is he? Satish: only forty-six. Bring it quickly with biscuit. In the midst Pagla Baba said, what, is tea not made? I said, they are bringing it now; everyone will come pranaming.

Satish: Come, come, brother, it will be late. Do not try to catch his word now. You will not be able to understand yet. Shashwata: Yes, let us go. What did he do there the whole day? Satish: O Baba, what shall I say. Hearing he was coming, your Boudi again invited many relatives, saying our Gurudev is coming.

Shashwata: How old will he be? Satish: Only forty-six.

Everyone looks this way and that, as if frozen. As Satish leaves the room everyone comes out with him. One asks: does he give diksha? Hearing that, the man says, perhaps that is why few go. The man does not take it to heart and goes past without answer. Satish: yes. There are hypocrites in advertisement, sadhus in dress, doing business with Bhagavan, and people are deceived. Shashwata asks how many days to learn the puja-jogar.

Camphor, agar, a tirtha-phial beside. After the first kriya, having bathed, Pagla Baba stands in red cloth: the arranging is done. Satish: now you may sit. Pagla Baba, standing on the asana: Shashwata, bathe quickly and come. Shashwata bathes, changes cloth, enters; all are sitting on the earth; Boudi signs him to sit. A held atmosphere; all sit silent looking at Pagla Baba. The bell sounds.

Pagla Baba: All arranged? Satish: Now you may sit on the asana. Pagla Baba, standing on the asana: Shashwata, go quickly, bathe, and come. Shashwata goes out to bathe, finishes quickly, changes cloth and comes into the room.

In the held, still air all sit silent, looking toward Pagla Baba. Now the bell sounds.

Sit outside now — and he rises from the asana. Shashwata pranams and comes out; all pranam one by one and come out. Shashwata: Baba, must I work now? Pagla Baba: no work now; ask Rama, she will say. Suman, make a place for food in the verandah. Pagla Baba sits in a chair; Suman spreads his asana; Boudi sets bhog. Pagla Baba: all take bhog together. All sit one by one and take Guru-prasad with devotion. He lies; all sit around him. Then a man enters the kutir. Pagla Baba, seeing him: come, what news, has something been settled?

Pagla Baba: No, now you have no work. Ask Rama; she will tell you. Saying this she keeps cleaning the place of puja. Boudi: Suman, you make the place for food in the verandah.

Suman spreads Guruji’s asana. Boudi arranges the bhoga and asks Pagla Baba to sit. Pagla Baba: All take bhoga together. All sit one by one. All take the bhoga, and with devotion lift the Guru’s prasad.

When the mat and pillow are spread, Pagla Baba lies, and all sit in the verandah around him. At that time a man enters the kutir.